I have a debate going on in my head.
`”I am offering my children a valuable learning experience, one that will inform who they will become as adults. We are so lucky to spend so much time together, bonding as a family. They have everything they need and so much more.”
“Toddlers need stability and routine. They need other children to play with and to build relationships with their extended family and friends. They won’t remember and can’t appreciate this adventure they are on. This travel is stressful for them.”
I see them rolling down sand dunes, enamored with newts, climbing in trees, or catching crabs, and I think, “This is awesome! We would not be doing this at home.” Then one of them has a melt-down, and I think, “I am so sorry, this is too much for you.”
It doesn’t help that it is at times stressful and difficult for me and Matt. We are making a thousand adjustments every day, trying to make it work for all of us. How do we get personal time, couple time, work time and family time? There is no break, no backup. Patience can run short and tempers flare. Kids are bouncing off the trailer walls and there is no where else for them to go, or us.
I am making a really smart move, I am being very foolish. I am looking out for my children’s best interest, I am being selfish. I am the best mom in the world, I am the worst mom in the world.
I shared this debate with a friend of ours we were visiting. After a few days, she decided I was best mom in the world. “You are doing the right thing,” she told me. “Just keep believing in yourself and it will be great.”
I suppose that is all it comes down to. We all at times doubt what we are doing, but as long as we don’t let those doubts get the better of us, we can move confidently in the direction of our dreams. These kiddos will be fine either way. They are strong and resilient and loved.